‘Jersey Shore’: The Situation Slams Into a Wall and No One Cares
A scene from MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ where Ronnie and Mike fight. (MTV)
The eagerly awaited epic showdown between Mike and Ronnie continued this week, with an additional participant: the wall.
“You wanna hit me?! You wanna hit me, tough guy?! Let’s do it!!” Mike screams at Ronnie. At least, it seemed like he was talking to Ronnie, but then he rams his own head into the wall, knocking himself to the ground. The wall was totally blindsided. Not cool, Mike!
“This isn’t funny anymore,” Jenni says, incorrectly, as she tends to Mike, dazed on the floor. And just when you think maybe Mike fell into a coma . . . he gets up and starts taunting Ronnie again (pretty sure it was Ronnie this time, though that lamp had been giving him attitude all night). And Ronnie was not about to let another inanimate object get between him and Mike again.
‘Jersey Shore’: Mike Slams Himself into a Wall: Funny or Sad? QuestionsView Results
Then it’s on like Donkey Kong! If Donkey Kong was patty-cake and Mike and Ronnie were little girls. Despite the fact that giant Behind the Scenes People had to step in and could barely untangle the two of them, it didn’t seem like either landed one punch. “I waited for a long time to **** you up!” Ronnie screams, from underneath a large man. Keep waiting!
They’re separated, but Ronnie is still completely crazed. Sammi refuses to let him be, even after the girls tell her to just leave him alone for a while. “Stop talking to me!” he yells. “You’re not worth anything to me! I’ve been calling girls since I’ve been here!”
Pauly thinks Mike “tried to commit suicide by hitting his head against the wall, ’cause he was sick of dealing with the Ron and Sam bull****.” The girls persuade Mike to go to the hospital to check out his head, knowing he doesn’t have many brain cells to spare.
Jenni ends up calming Ronnie down, much to Sammi’s chagrin. “I can’t believe I let myself get that angry,” he says. Did he miss Seasons 1-3? Once he’s de-Hulked, he tells Sammi that their relationship is toxic and they shouldn’t be together. But she’s done with him anyway, now that she knows about his other girls. Ronnie wants to go home, but Vinny persuades him to stay.
Mike’s diagnosis: a light concussion and a neck sprain. “That’s not good. ‘Cause for the next couple of days, I can’t GTL. I’m upset, man.” Ronnie tries to make peace, but Mike isn’t going for it. “The conflict between me and Ron, it’s unsettled. And any time it could pop off.”
The roommates are totally over the whole Ron and Sam thing. “What comes to mind when I think about Ronnie and Sam is, like, me throwing up,” Pauly says. Amen, brother! But Ronnie thinks you can’t help who you love, no matter that all the roommates tell him she’s bad news.
And poor Mike is left to roam the house in his neck brace, wondering why no one is bothering to check on him, sniff. “Definitely feeling alone right now,” he says. So when the roomies get home from lunch he really lays it on thick about how hurt he is. “I feel like he’s doing an insurance claim right now,” Jenni says.
Sammi puts all of the things Ronnie has given her on his bed. Then Ronnie throws them all away. So Sammi takes them back out of the trash to reclaim them. What? This can only make sense in Ronnie and Sammi Land.
Mike reveals to Ronnie the reason behind his head-butting of the wall: A few years ago he was about to fight a big guy, so he slammed his head into sheetrock first to get the pain out of the way. “But I didn’t know that **** was cement!” He half-heartedly apologizes for the argument, but Ronnie is only half-listening anyway.
The boys go to a club, and some guy tries to make trouble with Pauly, and he flips out, even though he has no idea what the guy is saying. “Pauly was ‘white-boy wasted,’” Vinny explains. “At any other time, Pauly wouldn’t have reacted to that.”
Snooki and Mike have a heart-to-heart. She’s still mad at him for telling everyone that she cheated on Jionni with him, but she loves him as a friend. How many times can she say “as a friend” before Mike gets it? Because his interpretation of events went like this: “After a trip to the hospital we realized at the end of the day we loved each other, and I don’t think Nicole and Jionni are meant for each other.”
The guys encourage Ronnie to bring a girl back home, but Ronnie chooses to be the bigger person and instead buys Sammi roses to “be an adult and show her you’re the a****** and I’m not.” “Bigger person” being a relative term here. Of course, Sammi is confused and they have a dumb fight. He tosses the flowers in the trash, and for the second time in the episode, Sammi drags out a gift from the trash. “I’m just all ****ed up in the head at this point,” she says.
Well, at least she’s in the right house.
–Christine Lusey, PopNews Wire
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